1. Stop   When we act without conscious thought (in other words we react rather than respond), then the most likely action will be that of our strongest (most practiced) habit. This is why if you are wanting to change, you need to be prepared to maintain a constant vigilance.   As soon as you recognise the situation as being one of high risk, you should immediately give yourself time and space to stop and think. At a social gathering, this might take the form of going to the bathroom, or stepping outside for a breath of fresh air. This stops the automatic reaction, and  gives you a chance to remind yourself of the planned alternatives, as well as your reasons for them.   2. Think   Once you’ve moved yourself away from the immediate high risk situation, ask yourself some pre-prepared questions to re-awaken your awareness and commitment. For example: how have I reacted to this sort of situation in the past? what were the negative consequences? were they worth putting up with, considering what I gained in the moment? what is my pre-planned alternative response? why did I bother to prepare this plan? You can keep a little card on you, detailing your prepared plan / questions.   3. Implement!   Remind yourself that this is the perfect moment to practice the new response - in spite of the discomfort that it may cause you. So take a deep breath, and just go and do it!    Finally, stay aware also of the common (sub-conscious) strategy of throwing the baby out with the bath water: If you do happen to make a mistake, do not lie to yourself by saying there’s no point, and you may as well give up trying. The truth is, complying 80% is in fact a whole lot better than 0%. So if there is a set-back, just re-set and focus again. At the very least, you will have practiced this very important skill.