When one or both parties in a relationship lose a significant amount of weight, it can change the dynamics of the relationship – for better or for worse. The New Therapist (Jan/Feb 2014, p4) reports on some research which originally appeared in the online journal Health Communication. Researchers at the North Carolina State University found that weightloss can negatively impact on a relationship if one’s spouse is not supportive. This is not surprising. We know also that when the spouse is OVERLY encouraging – to the point of being perceived as pressuring – this can negatively affect both the relationship and the likelihood of actually sticking to the lifestyle change. If on the other hand one’s spouse is indeed supportive of the changes, not only can it improve adherence over the longer term, but through increased emotional and / or physical intimacy it should also have a positive effect on the relationship in general. The most complicated cases are those in which one party feels threatened by the positive changes in the other. This can result in either conscious or sub-conscious sabotaging of the new health behaviours. One of my clients noticed that whenever she was making progress, chocolates would start appearing in the fridge. Again, it is not necessarily on a conscious level - we didn’t think her husband hadn’t even realized this pattern to his chocolate buying… Sabotaging can of course also be much more overt. Motivated by his / her own insecurities, a spouse might run down both the person and the health behaviours, while trying to disrupt the changes and its benefits. That’s when the relationship is inevitably affected, and ultimately the person is left with some difficult choices to make. In order to make positive lifestyle changes last therefore, one should consider in advance the pros and cons on every level, including to one’s relationship. This enables potential obstacles to be addressed pro-actively. Amongst other things, it lessens the chance of sabotage either by oneself or by a significant other.